


Michigan J. Goat

by NellieOleson



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 05:13:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NellieOleson/pseuds/NellieOleson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commentfic for goats with no sense of humor. I think this is Gen, although my love of Sam/Jack might bleed into it a bit. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Michigan J. Goat

Carter was sitting on the ground, examining one of the crystal formations that grew on this planet like weeds in an abandoned lot. Jack wasn't sure how useful they were but Carter had seemed very excited when the MALP sent back the first images. Jack was happy when Carter got excited about something but that was as far as his interest went. He was mostly along to keep her company and provide back up in case the local wildlife tried to eat her. Carter got lost in her work and Jack thought something could have eaten one of her feet before she noticed.

He glanced down at the top of her head occasionally, watched her attach various probes and instruments to the multi-colored rocks. It was something he could do all day. He did, however, have a reputation to uphold. "Are you done yet?" he asked, hoping she'd say no. "I have better things to do than stare at a bunch of goats all day." He didn't really have anything else to do and the local 'goats' were actually pretty entertaining. Still. Reputation to uphold.

Carter ignored him. Giving him a respectable reply without actually caring what he'd said. "Yes, sir." There wasn't much that phrase didn't cover. _Yes, sir_. Quit being a pain in the ass. _Yes, sir._ I hear you but I don't care about what you are saying. _Yes, sir_. I know you keep staring at the top of my head. He smiled because she couldn't see him. Yes, sir, my ass.

He started watching the 'goats' again. Mostly they ate. Sometimes they stopped to romp and head-butt one another. Their horns were more ornate than Earth goats in a Princess Leia kind of way. But other than that, they seemed like regular old goats engaging in typical goaty behavior. Every now and then one would look at him with its ears slightly alert and its head tipped to the side. Jack figured they just hadn't seen humans before and were trying to decide if they were edible.

He started rambling because he was bored. Making off the wall comments just to see if he could break Carter's concentration. "Hey, Carter, did I ever tell you about the time I woke up naked in a tree?"

"No, sir." No, sir was just as meaningless as yes, sir.

Jack didn't give up. "There was duct tape involved." He'd never actually woken up naked in a tree but that wasn't important. "I think--"

_What the hell?_

"Carter?" He whispered, not wanting to scare the 'goats'.

She sighed and looked at him. _What the fuck is wrong with you_ , the look said. "Yes, sir?" was what Carter said. She was nothing if not predictable.

"Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"The goats. They were laughing at me." And they had been. He was certain of it. As soon as he mentioned it to Carter, they stopped, dropping their little goat heads back down to eat.

By the time she looked in their direction, it was too late. "Why do you do this to me?" She was mad now.

"I'm not kidding, Carter." The damn 'goats' kept on acting like goats. "They were."

Carter went back to her work. "Right, and you woke up naked and duct-taped to a tree too," she said, clearly not believing any of his lies.

"But-"

She cut him off which wasn't like Carter at all. "Just let me finish this, sir."

Jack sighed and kicked at the ground. It was his own damn fault she didn't believe him. Jack O'Neill: The Man Who Cried Goat.

When he went back to pacing his small Carter-perimeter, the 'goats' stared laughing again. Jack thought one of them was pointing a little 'goat' hoof at him.

He didn't bother telling Carter about that.


End file.
